just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
