omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she pinky promised me she was 18
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
