dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We don't watch enough power rangers
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
