It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
