I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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