No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
my liver is dry heaving
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
