I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
