The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
