If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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