Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you will always have a special place in my vag
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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