I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i think we sleep fucked last night...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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