I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
