i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
