Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
