is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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