Pappa wants mamma naked
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
