In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my being single is dangerous.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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