We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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