:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
