she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
