Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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