I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Boobs speak an international language.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think your dad took our porno
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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