some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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