guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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