Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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