He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
