Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
