Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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