he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
