IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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