"it" just moved
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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