There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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