am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
