If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
