there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
