I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
