I need to stop coming to work sober
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
