4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
