Buhtt sex?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
