I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
