OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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