It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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