Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dick very happy bro
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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