I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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