Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
