I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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