Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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