Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I lost the right to judge tonight
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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