never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
