when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
