Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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