All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize