there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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