No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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